Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
