Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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