do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
