Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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