we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
