have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
