ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
