: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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