You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
