I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
