Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
