I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
