no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
