I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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