So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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