It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize