so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
