this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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