I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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