If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You're like the curious george of whores
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
