Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
