Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
