party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
