dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
smell my finger.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
