I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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