it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize