Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
