my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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