and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Umm I'm too high to move.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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