Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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