yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize