Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
