who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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