Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
