you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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