you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
