no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
