So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
