thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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