She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
