he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I touched a dick in church today
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
