im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
