Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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