your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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