he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
