Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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