How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
