just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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