Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
