the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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