if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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