so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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