we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
