I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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