I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You ruined the universe
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
