Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize