Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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