the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
