I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
