shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
