Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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