i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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