Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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