I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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