how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
