I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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