Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
