You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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